It’s not you – it’s me

It’s rather ironic , that we spend so much time on the physical , and tend to neglect emotional fitness. We sip the green juice, but at the same time use that judgemental finger to protect our own insecurities. You don’t juice?

You are doing it wrong ………. :)

If we don’t use it, we will lose it.

notyoume-blogSorry to disappoint – but it’s not one and done. We also need to do the daily reps with our emotional fitness. There is no cosmic wave of the magic wand.

A la peanut butter sandwiches – nothing to worry about anymore, I’ve crossed that line in the sand; that wiped away all my dysfunctional baggage.

Funny thing is that the line keeps getting moved. Etched in the sand with my big toe , screw the stick (how can I carry my bags if I’m using a stick), I can’t wait around for you to do it for me.

So here I am sitting smack dab in the middle of taking responsibility for myself. Just to be clear … Yes I stumble – I still point my finger (and gasp … it’s sometimes the middle one), create my own suffering, and want to hide under the duckie blankie. But here is a great example of how I chose to respond to life. Chose to ride something epic versus a bottom feeder. Once again it all comes down to choice.

At the store, this week, the clerk was mildly irritated  with me that she had to go into another register to make change for the big bill I used. She made a comment about not being a bank teller (points to her it was semi-creative) – my response was to look her in the eyes -smile with all my inner strength and told her to enjoy the day.

It would be great if I could say that we exchanged a smile that recognized the humanity in one another. But I have no idea of what was happening for her , and it’s really none of my business. What happened for me, is that I went on with my day and didn’t need to reply to the comment over and over in my mind.

 

Something about we create our own suffering

How many times did I used to play that notyoume2-blogtape over and over in my mind. Mental Battleship. A-10 no L -10 no A-10-no F-U.

When I play this Mental Battleship with myself, I’m choosing to ride a bottom feeder. It’s my choice, and it has nothing to do with you – you can relax I’ve let you off the hook. A-10 no L-10 can be a pretty distorted sense of justice.

I don’t always make the best choice , and sometimes I pick the bottom feeders in my own mind.

It doesn’t mean that I’m good or bad, but just need to pick myself back up and get back on the board.

 

The physical is the easy part; the real test is choosing to ride something epic or continue to choose the bottom feeders.