Do or Do not there is no try -Yoda
Its pretty simple we either do or we do not. What stops us from nailing the Do? I mean we set our intentions, we say the mantras, we even secret it to death , we have the vision boards and some of us may even sprinkle some magic pixie dust on it. We are positive, optimistic, and the glass is half full with a cheery garnish. Then we sit around and wait. This is the biggest speed bump that we will face; lack of confidence to take action.
3 Narratives that Trap ourselves From the DOING
1) Right feelings will lead us to feeling confident to take action.
We can wait and wait a little bit more for that “right” feeling to come along bite us in the ass to start. We have it ass backwards, READY-AIM-FIRE simply creates more inertia. Start with the action and and that will create the feelings of feeling more confident. That sense of powerlessness can lead to even more gripping paralysis. Try these power poses (Amy Cuddy) and hold for two minutes then take that action and you will be amazed with the subsequent domino effect.
ACTION – THINKING – MORE DOING. Increasing our testosterone has a strong correlation with increasing our confidence, its the spark plug to take that all important first step.
2) We have to feel right (i.e. no fears, insecurities, or DISCOMFORT) before we can give ourselves permission to take action. Security and that overwhelming sense of control traps us into the narrative that I can only feel confident if I have no fears( F#@$ -Everything -and -Run ) or insecurities. Let’s be honest fear and insecurity can lead us to feeling pretty uncomfortable and a lot of discomfort. Its the discomfort that we do not find in our comfort zone. We need to earn our confidence each and every time we get very intimate with discomfort. Do yourself a favour and stop judging yourself so harshly for feeling discomfort.
3) Control vs. Uncertainty. We kid ourselves that we need to have the perfect plan to start. We might even tap into the illusion that we need to be perfect before we can start.Perfectionism is a very sly trick we play on ourselves that kids us that we are in control, safe, very secure, and no possibility of discomfort. The more control we think we need to horde, is causing us most of our discomfort.We create our own stress , through the illusion of control and a fear of scarcity.
My Dad once once asked me “why do you think there are erasers on pencils?”
Talk about opening the door to infinite possibilities, but it only starts when we have the courage to fail, make mistakes, and take action. We need to get very intimate with failure and of letting go of this false sense of security masquerading as perfection. Isn’t life already challenging enough?
We will keep rejecting ourselves if we keep measuring ourselves against what we think we should be (feeling confident) as opposed to what we are (capacity to act confident). We don’t have to be perfect or to feel perfect to start, we do have the qualifications.